jeudi 17 janvier 2008

Multiple Personality Disorder

Multiple Personality Disorder! Who believes there's such a thing? Anyone know somebody who plays different parts? One minute he's the person you know him to be, the next minute you wonder what's got into him?

I think I know someone who might have MPD...he scares me sometimes. One minute he's nice and generous, the next minute he's strange.

I used to think he just has a screw loose in his head but then I read this book 'The minds of Billy Milligan' by Daniel Keyes and became more conscious of such an ailment. I have heard of it, even watched movies that told stories of people who had it but I didn't grasp it until reading this book...then I realise my friend might just have it.

In Nigeria, we call mental illness, madness or spiritual attacks, 'cos that's the only explanation that sounds plausible to us...but the white man has a name for it, but how right are they?

In Nigeria, sometimes our medical experts find it difficult to diagnose an ailment...when the hospitals don't know what's wrong, our people go the traditional way.

But does Multiple Personality Disorder really exist? Or do extremely sad people looking for escape just give different names to their different personalities?


We all get moody sometimes. We fight, cry, get angry, get violent, get nice, friendly, bitchy, polite, rude etc, does it mean we have different personalities living inside us? Maybe! But we are still whole, and are conscious of what we do and say but there are those who can't handle reality.
Or are they just simply crazy?

Case study: Billy Milligan
Billy Milligan had 24 personalities in him. The first appeared when he was only 3yrs old and 22 others were created between that time till he turned 22, when he was arrested for armed robbery and the rape of three women.

One of his lesbian personalities supposedly raped the three girls and the core him, Billy, didn't even remember the crimes and he went on to be the first person to be found not guilty of a crime on the grounds of insanity due to multiple personality disorder in the State of Ohio, in the late 70's.

Billy's personalities
The initial list of ten, with their ages, paraphrased here from Daniel Keyes's book:
William Stanley Milligan "Billy", age 26, the core personality.
Arthur, 22. The Englishman
Ragen Vadascovinich, 23. The keeper of hate.
Allen, 18. The con man.
Tommy, 16. The escape artist.
Danny, 14. The frightened one.
David, 8. The keeper of pain.
Christene, 3. The corner child
Christopher, 13. Obedient but troubled
Adalana, 19. The lesbian
There were also personalities classed as "Undesirables" by the personality in charge. These personalities were deemed to have unworthy qualities and would not hold Billy's consciousness.
Philip, 20. The thug.
Kevin, 20. The planner.
Walter, 22. The Australian.
April, 19. The bitch.
Samuel, 18. The wandering Jew.
Mark, 16. The workhorse.
Steve, 21. The perpetual imposter.
Lee, 20. The comedian.
Jason, 13. The pressure valve.
Robert, 17. The daydreamer.
Shawn, 4. The deaf one.
Martin, 19. The snob.
Timothy, 15.
There is also the personality known as The Teacher, from whom the other personalities all learned their specialities, and who is the integration of all other personalities and the one true Billy

Can anyone shed more light on this topic. How do you help someone you think might have it? What triggers it? Is this ailment real or just a figment of some people's imagination?

mardi 15 janvier 2008

Naija Entertainment News

Emeka Ike builds N200m school
They say star actor, Emeka Ike, just completed a N200 million school in Magodo, Lagos.
Here's what he had to say about the school
Emeka Ike "Basically, I feel Nigerian youths deserve better and we are seeing how we can correct one or two anomalies in the academic sector. We have schools without laboratories, no quality class rooms, no good facilities, so we are trying our best to get Nigerian youths together. It took me a while to complete the school, because I have some projects and if you ask me I want to get into hotel business. I already have some things going on for me like real estate. I wanted to start building the hotel but decided to abandon the hotel business for the school project. We love children and all that. It was a huge investment. I believe in building the Nigerian youths. It's not all about money, we are here to impact."

Can I say something? Emeka Ike was one of the reasons I stopped watching home videos. I didn't particularly like his acting and was never a fan, but for what he's done for the Nigerian youth...I love him now and when next I see him, I will say hello or even get an autograph.
I wish y'all could see the school this guy built. Magnificent! From Hotel where he could make serious money to building a school...God bless Emeka Ike.

Okoya marries Shade
On Saturday January 12 2008, Chief Rasaq Okoya formally married his sweetheart of 9 years and mother of three of his children, Shade Okoya. The wedding attracted politicians, business moguls, fashionistas, socialites etc.
The compere was Bisi Olatilo
Make up was by Banke Meshida
Ego (Lagbaja's former back up singer) performed
Dakore Egbuson and Olumide Akande were there.
Okoya turned 68years old that same day.


Timi escapes death
The winner of 2007 Idols WA, Timi Dakolo, had a close shave with death at the presidential hotel P/Harcourt a few days back. They say he'd barely driven into the hotel when some Niger Delta militants seized the place. He had no choice but to remain inside his car park watching them unleash terror and horror on innocent people. About 20 mins into the incident, two of the militants moved towards his car and shot sporadically. The gun shot damaged his windscreen and the side glass while about 15 bullets graved his head. As if that was not enough, they moved towards him to check if he was alive, but Timi was wise enough to pretend he was dead. Immediately after the incident, he was taken to the hospital where he stayed for a week. He had 16 stitches on his head and is now gradually healing.
Thank God for his life!

Ini Edo's new love
They say his name is Philip Ehiagwina. He's from Edo state, a divorcee and a car dealer, based in the US. He's said to be in his 30's.


Akon and Faze finally seal deal
Contrary to the rumour making rounds that Akon is no longer interested in any recording contract with Faze, the CEO of Konvict Music on Dec 29th 2007, declared that he never for once denied Faze. Akon's words "I can't afford to deny Faze. The delay in the deal is as a result of a market structure in Africa and other neccessary things that need to be put in place". He later gave him the same kind of contract papers he gave T.Pain, to study, after which they might put pen to paper. Meanwhile, Faze is working on a remix album to be released by Feb 2008.

Wasiu Ayinde's wife delivers second child in U.K
Hajia Jemila, wife of King of Fuji Music, KWAM1, delivered a cute baby girl in the UK on Jan 9. 2008. The baby is the woman's second child and the King's...?

Ken Okonkwo remarries secretly for the third time
They say star actor Ken Okonkwo just got married for the third in Dec 2007, at Nsukka, Enugu State. I don't know how true this is. His first wife was Ogechi Ezekiel, the second, Nancy Ekedo. Now there's a new bride. Well...congrats to him.

Saint Obi gets first baby
Handsome actor Saint Obi and his family are back in the country. Saint and his wife, Linda had been in the US for months for the delivery of their first child. They happy couple gave had a boy who has since been christened Dera Saint Obi Jr. And they said he just added a BMW 750li to his garage.

Dare and Deola Alade also get first baby
Dare's wife, Deola, on Dec 28, gave birth to the couple's first child. A boy! He was delivered in a london hospital. A big congrats to them

Timaya on the rise
They say since he released his album, fortune has been smiling on him. He recently moved into a 4room duplex in P/Harcourt. It also has a lobby, and an audio studio. He also just bought a Toyota Camry, Toyota Spider and a power bike. People love this guy and his song. The thing is...I have never heard it. But everyone can't be wrong. More grease to his elbow.

There's someone else y'all need to look out for. He's a rapper called MI and he has a single called Crowd Mentality. Why should you look out for him? He got 2 standing ovations at the FUTURE AWARDS. He has the tightest lyrics I have heard in a long time.

Ok, that's all for now. I try abi?

Show some love by dropping a line or two.

Kisses!

dimanche 13 janvier 2008

Future Award & Golden Globe Winners

Update!


This is the dress I wore to the Grammy Future Awards, made by designer, Steve Ray.
Fine or fined?
Somebody said to me at the event 'If you wear this to an occasion like this, what are you going to wear on your wedding day?" With the tail and all...lol
You can check out more pix from the event here http://niyitabiti.blogspot.com/
Chimamanda Adichie is young person of the year
I was at the 2008 Future Awards...It held yesterday, Sunday 13th 2008 at the Muson Centre.
My first outing in months and it was worth it. Now, I understand why people dress up to go to events.

So, I got one of my designers to make me a dress...Steve Ray, and the dress he made..well, when you guys see the pictures from the event...you can laugh or love it.

Like I said, the event was worth my time and energy. It was a red carpet event and I enjoyed every moment of it. Finally met Toni Payne and Bobby Taylor...ain't that grand?

Saw people I haven't seen in ages and exchanged a few phone numbers.

The high point of the event for me was when Former minister of Education and Vice President of the World Bank, Mrs Obi Ezekwesili gave her opening speech. She said something I will never forget..."You choose a life of ease? How degrading!"

One day this phrase will mean something very special...I promise you that!

'Cos I got to go to work, I can't write all I wanna say so let me go straight to the list of winners

Actor of the Year
Ali Nuhu
(never heard of this guy...he must be good to have won)
He beat the other finalists, Genevieve Nnaji and Nonso Diobi.

Artist of the Year
Oghenekaro Okporiereie
He beat Seyi Taylor and Jide Alakija

Best Use of Technology
Dele Odufuye

The other finalists were Olufemi Akande and Blue Labs Technology

Best Use of Advocacy
Toyosi Akerele.
She beat UNITes and Emmanuel Etim

Musician of the Year
Dbanj
(Who else?)
He beat PSquare and Olu Maintain

Enterpreneur of the Year
Bukola Adubi.
Other two finalists were Funke Bucknor-Obruthe and Tosin Dekalu

Music Producer of the Year
ID Cabassa
He surprisingly beat Don Jazzy and MOSA

Screen producer of the Year
Mak Kusare. Don't know this guy. I expected Joke Jaiyesimi to win. That's one hard working young woman. She was behind Music Africa and presently the producer of Nigeria's hippest TV programme, HipTV and is working on other projects. Lamide Opere was also a finalist.

Enterpreneur of the Year (Beauty & Style)
This is the category I was nominated in. It was won by
Banke Meshida-Lawal.
Sincerely, I'd expected Toni Payne to win...oh well. Muyiwa Osindero was a finalist.

Journalist of the Year
Abdulkareem Baba Aminu
Azuh Amatus and Samson Adeoye were finalists

Magazine of the Year
Soundcity Blast.
I've never seen this magazine but I hear it's cool. The other contenders were Applause and Juice Magazine.

On-Air Personality of the Year
Gbemi Olater-Olagbegi of Cool Fm
Denrele Edun and Lamide Akintobi were finalists

Professional of the Year
Ike Ochonogor
Noble Igwe and Omowale David Ashiru were finalists.

I didn't wait long enough to find out who won Young Person of The Year
1, Mikel Obi
2, Chika Nwobi
3, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Anyway, congrats to the organisers of the Award but one question I really want to know is...'What's your criteria for choosing winners?"

As soon as I get pictures and from the event will let y'all see it.

One thing I learnt from yesterday is no matter how difficult it is, keep striving, never give up, dare to dream and believe you can fly. Despite your background or circumstances, you can overcome and become. It's really up to YOU!

And like Obi Ezekwesili said 'You choose the life of ease? How degrading!"
It's OK not to want to stress yourself and work your butt off to make a living, it's OK to rely on Daddy's money and never lift a finger, it's even OK to attach yourself to a rich man and live the easy life...but don't expect to be called on stage to give speeches, don't expect to be nominated for awards, don't expect to inspire the young generation, but mostly, don't expect people to mention your name as a role model or walk to you and say 'one day I want to be like you or surpass your achievements'. Just be content with who you are!

Ok enough of Future Awards, let's go international

Winners of Golden Globe Award, which held yesterday also. There was no glitz or glamour at this year's event due to writer's strike. It was reduced to a news conference...

Picture, Drama: "Atonement."
—Actress, Drama: Julie Christie, "Away From Her."
—Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood."
—Picture, Musical or Comedy: "Sweeney Todd."
—Actress, Musical or Comedy: Marion Cotillard, "La Vie En Rose."
—Actor, Musical or Comedy: Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd."
—Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There."
—Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men."
—Director: Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly."
—Screenplay: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, "No Country for Old Men."
—Foreign Language: "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," France and U.S.
—Animated Film: "Ratatouille."
—Original Score: Dario Marianelli, "Atonement."
—Original Song: "Guaranteed" from "Into the Wild."

TELEVISION:
—Actress, Drama: Glenn Close, "Damages."
—Actor, Drama: Jon Hamm, "Mad Men."
—Series, Musical or Comedy: "Extras," HBO.
—Series, Drama "Mad Men," AMC.
—Actress, Musical or Comedy: Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
—Actor, Musical or Comedy: David Duchovny, "Californication."
—Miniseries or Movie: "Longford," HBO.
—Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Queen Latifah, "Life Support."
—Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Jim Broadbent, "Longford."
—Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Samantha Morton, "Longford."
—Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jeremy Piven, "Entourage."

Ok, that's it for today. I promise to bring you NEN soon.

Thanks for all your love

Take care!

jeudi 10 janvier 2008

About my post yesterday, pls don't take my rantings seriously. There really is crazy guy downstairs but I was smiling when I wrote that post. I don't loose my cool that easily...I just wanted to call him names... Can't do it to his face, might as well do it here! lol.

And Wienna, I'm not horny enough to start acting crazy...na so e sweet reach? lol

But I'm serious, when I learn how to fight, I'm whipping his ass.

And no, he ain't getting his N750..

Anyway to Naija news.

My publicist just started his blog...strictly Naija entertainment news. Find it here. http://niyitabiti.blogspot.com/

My own is coming tomorrow...see ya!

Wink!

mardi 8 janvier 2008

What would you do?

If you buy something from somewhere, then realise when you get home that you were given twice what you paid for (by mistake), would you keep it? Go back to return it or pay for the other half?

That's the honest thing to do right?

I paid for a N750 recharge card yesterday, got back to the office, loaded it and realised I was given a N1, 500 recharge card.

I know he didn't deliberately give me more than I paid for 'cos his ass don't know how to be nice, or decent. He doesn't even smile...

So, I started making calls...

I've finished the credit.

And I don't care what none of you say, the bitch downstairs ain't getting his N750.

That's for all his nastiness for the past six months.

He's an ass

Did I say he?

It's a man but let's call it a she.

HeShe's an ass

And talking with a confused accent.

The N750 is for all the N10, N20 he adds to his recharge cards, for being such a gossip and a first class bitch...

The day I ever learn how to fight, I'm going after his ass

Nonsense.

I'm sorry for cursing out, he brings out the worse in me

Let's move on from the ASS. What would you do? Assuming the seller ain't a bitch like the one downstairs?

If I get like 100 comments on this post, I just might bring you Naija Entertainment news tommorrow... otherwise...hmmm!

Just kidding..lol

Not about the bitch though! lol

See y'all tomorrow

Kisses!

dimanche 6 janvier 2008

Question

The Naija Bloggers Party held yesterday but I didn't attend. I don't have any concrete reason for missing the event. I wasn't particularly doing anything so important that I couldn't leave it to spend some time with other bloggers.
I'm just a boring person
My apologies to all
I heard it was a lot of fun.
Twayne was there. So was Laspapi, Princessa, Unnaked, Tayo Odukoya, Overwhelmed Naija Babe and 20 others.
I'll definitely be at the Future Awards. I hope visiting bloggers will still be around. See you all then.

Now to the question of the day...
How do you help someone who is suicidal?

samedi 5 janvier 2008

The man who killed 100 boys, African China quote and other stories

People are really reading this blog (even though they don't drop comments).

So I'm reading Saturday Sun and I see where my humble self and blog was made a point of reference in the Dakore Egbuson/Olumide Akande affair. They were quoting me like I know what the heck is going on in their relationship. I think I've said severally that most of the news and gossip I post on this blog is from our local gossip mag. Pls don't quote me o...lol
The only thing I know about Dakore is that she's beautiful, talented, humble, friendly and has a beautiful soul. Olumide is a lucky man and I hope it works out for them.


Motherless babies on Blackwall Street.
As part of it's corporate social responsibility, Blackwall Street record label in conjunction with Link-a-Child few days ago held a Christmas party for motherless babies at SOS children Village, Ijebu-Isiwo near Ijebu Ode. All the performances were from the kids and there was a particular cut boy who stole the night. His name is Little H. I'll find out about this boy and introduce him to y'all. He's a sensation.


Women for peace in Nigeria.
I just found out about this organisation and thought to introduce it to you guys. Women for peace in Nigeria (WOPIN), is a non governmental, not-for-profit, and an apolitical organisation tat has been in existence for nine years and there primary goal is to touch the lives of women and children in rural and urban Nigeria. I'm going to look for their contact, for those interested in joining the organisation.

Akon rocks Calabar
Meanwhile Akon, 2face, Sunny Neji, Julius Agwu and so many other performers set Calabar on fire this December. Let me officially say that if I don't my 08 xmas outside the country, then I'm packing my bags and baggage to Calabar to celebrate with them. Y'all should have seen the carnivals, shows and street events they had in that city. That's the place to be!


Yar' adua summons Ribadu over EFCC men's refusal to meet IG
Loyalty at it's best. How many of you know that policemen attached to EFCC refused to honour a meeting with the Inspector-General of police, Mr. Mike Okiro in Abuja on Thursday at the Force Headquarters. All the policemen shunned the meeting, prompting the presidency to get involved. Ribadu was summoned by the president to explain the behaviour of his men.
What the hell is going on in this country?

Commissioner warns against gory images on TV
The Edo State Commissioner for information and orientation, Barrister Calus Enoma, has cautioned against showing unpalatable visuals, such as dead bodies on TV, in the interest of young persons in the society.
Not show dead bodies on TV? That's our problem?


The man who killed 100 boys

Javed Iqbal Moghul

I saw this on Crime&Investigation Network and thought to bring to your notice. Read the story of a man who killed 100 homeless boys...
On 22 November 1999 the crime reporter of The Daily Jang in Lahore received a letter detailing diary extracts written by Javed Iqbal Moghul. This letter contained a chilling confession to 100 horrendous murders, photographs of the victims and instructions for finding their remains.Iqbal was an intelligent man from a wealthy and respected family.

In 1992, two impoverished homeless boys from the streets of Lahore accused him of rape and the resulting scandal brought shame upon his family. When his mother died of a heart attack soon after this incident, it seems a transition occurred in the psyche of Iqbal, from sex offender to murderer and he plotted to avenge her death by killing 100 runaways in 200 days.

Iqbal carried out his plan by strangling or poisoning the boys and disposing of their bodies by dissolving them in acid.This film reveals Iqbal’s methods and asks how he was able to commit these horrific crimes undetected until he chose to reveal the murders to the press.

It also questions the attitudes of the Pakistani government, police and citizens towards the welfare of the runaway children who are so abundant and yet unseen on the streets of their capital.

Javed Iqbal Moghul was found guilty of all 100 murders and has been sentenced to death. he was later said to have committed suicide in jail.
What a sad world!

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje To Play 'Heavy Duty' In 'G.I Joe' film

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje will now reach a new base of hardcore fans as he's been cast to play 'Heavy Duty' in the film version of ' G.I Joe'.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Agbaje and Said Taghmaoui will join Sienna Miller and Ray Park in the Paramount's live action film.The film is scheduled for an August 2009 release. This latest version has G.I. JOE, which stands for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, as an international force of operatives set in Brussels. A qualified expert with all known heavy infantry weapons systems, HEAVY DUTY is also an aspiring chef. Unfortunately, his culinary attempts meet heavy resistance from the rest of the team who remember with fondness the mess hall masterpieces created by his culinary predecessor, ROADBLOCK.

The biggest and strongest member of the G. I. JOE team, HEAVY DUTY is the main source of covering fire on the ground when the team is in assault mode. Even under the worst of conditions, every member of the G. I. JOE team knows that HEAVY DUTY will be there to back them up and that he is prepared to do his job and keep on doing it. "The G. I. JOE team doesn't just fight. We take care of each other. That's what it's all about, isn't it?"Nichols will play Scarlett, a skilled martial artist who specializes in hand-to-hand combat and counterintelligence.

Taghmaoui will play Breaker, the team's communications specialist. Miller will play the Baroness, known for her espionage skills.

Akinnuoye-Agbaje also has appeared in films such as "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" and "The Bourne Identity." He is repped by APA, 3 Arts and attorney Nina Shaw.

African China quote


Do you allow your girlfriend pick your calls?
African China "Yes. She picks my calls. Some girls that call me have problem with that and they ask, who is that? She replies 'I should be asking you. Who are you?'. The next thing I do is 'that is one of my fans don't talk to them that way again. She reads my text messages when I'm not there but now I have a file where I keep my texts and it is passworded. She cannot read them anymore"
How much do you spend on credit?
African China "That's something I can't calculate but I can tell you I spend a lot of money on credit. I spend up to N5, 000, that N150, 000 in a month per month for all my phones. Sometimes I spend more and get pissed off and say I'm not buying credit and that is when all my female fans will start calling; 'It's not fair o, you don't even call'"
This interview is courtesy Saturday Sun.

Some questions journalists ask...and the answers celebs give...lol


Pls click on the image below to see a bigger version to read clearly







Top 10 fountains in the world

10


9


8


7


6


5


4


3


2


1...lol

For that person who has a low self-esteem
Many of us harbor hidden low self-esteem. We deem everything and everyone more important than ourselves and think that meeting their needs is more important than meeting our own. But if you run out of gas, everyone riding with you will be left stranded. -T.D. Jakes

By Dr. Dale A. Robbins
Romans 14:10 "Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.(12) And so each of us shall give an account of himself - give an answer in reference to judgment - to God.(13) Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother." (The Amplified Bible)
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines criticism as "an act of criticizing; to judge as a critic; to find fault; to blame or condemn."
As we have read, the scriptures tell us not to tear down our brethren through criticism or judgment, as this can pose a serious stumbling-block and cause irreparable damage to their faith.
Among God's warnings to us in scripture, there are none more somber or serious than His warning to not become a stumbling block to His followers. "...whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matt. 18:6).
There's an old saying that "We tend to judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intentions." The truth is, we cannot rightly judge anyone else, because we do not know the contents of their heart. We should be content to judge only ourselves and seek to bring our own lives in alignment with God's Word (1 Cor. 11:31).
What Exactly is a Critical Spirit?
A "critical spirit," is an obsessive attitude of criticism and fault-finding, which seeks to tear others down — not the same thing as what is sometimes called "constructive criticism." The only criticism that is ever constructive is that which is expressed in love to "build up," not to tear down — it is always expressed face-to-face, never behind their back.
The person with a critical spirit usually dwells on the negative, seeks for flaws rather than good. They're a complainer, usually always upset, and generally have a problem or a complaint about something. They often have little control over their tongue, their temper, and have tendencies for gossip and slander, which Paul said were sins "worthy of death" (Rom. 1:29-32).

What Causes a Critical Spirit?
1. Negativeness - A bad attitude and a negative view of life. A person may have unconfessed sin in their life (Rom. 2:1), or may harbor unforgiveness or bitterness toward someone who may have offended them (Heb. 12:15).
2. Insecurity - Criticism is often a subconscious means to "elevate one's own self image." By putting others down, they are inwardly trying to feel more important or that "they know more." Jealousy toward the spiritual victories of others is often the cause of criticism and belittling comments. Popular ministers of the Gospel are often the target of such tactics.
3. Immaturity - Believers must always keep their focus upon Christ and His Word, not man, who will often fail (Heb. 12:2). The young or immature believer who has not progressed very far in their own faith, remain overly dependent upon the faith of those within the body of Christ. Unfortunately, when they begin to notice the flaws in their brethren, subconsciously, this becomes a threat to their own sense of victory. Criticism becomes a reaction of disappointment, because their expectations in others have been crushed.
4. An Unrenewed Mind - Put-downs, making-fun-of, criticism, sarcasm are the world's ways of reacting to the faults of people. However, as Christians we don't behave this way. Our thinking and attitude should be renewed by the Word of God, which teaches us to bear the infirmities of the weak, to love, and show compassion and encouragement (Rom. 12:2).
5. The Devil - As we may realize, the Devil specializes in influencing obsessive behavior. He may use any or all of the above channels, or other techniques, to influence a complaining or critical attitude to stir up turmoil and strife within the body of Christ (Eph. 6:12). We must be on guard that none of us would be used as a tool of the Devil to bring harassment or discouragement upon our brothers or sisters through continual criticism, as the Bible warns us not to "give place" to the Devil (Eph. 4:27). Remember that Satan is specifically called "the accuser of the brethren" (Rev. 12:10). Are you an accuser of the brethren?
The Bible says that the reason that we are to come together as a church is, not to criticize, but to "exhort" (encourage) one another (Hebrews 10:25). "Cursing the darkness" won't change anything, but we must light a candle and "expose the light" of God's Word. By sharing the truth of God's Word, and encouraging people to live in its truth, people will change. Love and encouragement is a "motivational force."
If we ever hope to bring improvement in others, we need to become people of encouragement. This is the only attitude that will change people, and our actions and words must be devoted to encouraging the spiritual progress of our brethren.
The Christian's tongue should never be used for anything but good. "Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word, nor unwholesome or worthless talk (ever) come out of your mouth; but only such speech as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it" (Eph. 4:29 The Amplified Bible).
Prescription For a Healthy Mind
A number of years ago, Dr. David H. Fink, a psychiatrist for the veterans administration, wrote an article for Coronet Magazine, entitled, "Release from Nervous Tension." In his article, he outlined his research into the causes of mental and emotional disturbances.
From over 10,000 case studies, he discovered that there was a common trait with all his patients who suffered from severe tension. They were habitual fault-finders, constant critics of people and things around them. Those who were free from tension, were the least critical. His conclusions were that the habit of fault-finding is a prelude or mark of the nervous, or the mentally unbalanced. Those who wish to retain good emotional and mental health, should learn to free themselves from a negative and critical attitude.
Remember this, the Bible doesn't promise peace to those who dwell on the faults of others! It says that the Lord will keep them in perfect peace, whose minds are stayed on Him! (Isaiah 26:3).
"Speaking Well of Those Around You"
Series: The Ten Commandments Exodus 20:16
©October 1, 2000 by Rev. Bruce Goettsche
This last summer we have heard about many wildfires that have destroyed tens of thousands of acres of land. We can't even begin to comprehend the damage one small fire can create. A single spark, a campfire left unattended, a bolt of lightening. Any of these things can create devastation beyond imagination.
It is significant that James uses that same image of a small spark, to describe our tongue.
James 3:5-6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
We know this is true from our own experience. We have experience with the devastating effects of words. Somewhere in your past you have probably
had your confidence destroyed by someone's negative comment
or maybe you have had to pick up the pieces from a vicious rumor
or spent a lifetime trying to undo the hurt of someone who called you "stupid", "ugly", "loser" or any number of other horrible labels.
But words can also be good . . .
you've had your confidence boosted by an encouraging word
you've been strengthened by the person who speaks the fitting word at just the right time
Words carry a great deal of power. Jesus tells us that we will have to give an account of every idle word. It is not surprising then that the ten commandments put a great deal of focus on our words. The ninth commandment addresses our words most directly. "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor." (Ex. 20:16)
THE PROHIBITION
The Heidelberg Catechism was written by the German Reformed church back in 1563. It was designed to teach the basics of faith to children and new believers. It has a very succinct definition of the ninth commandment.
God's will is that I
never give false testimony against anyone
twist no one's words
not gossip or slander
nor join in condemning anyone without a hearing or without just cause.
Rather, in court and everywhere else, I should avoid lying and deceit of every kind; these are devices the devil himself uses, and they would call down on me God's intense anger. I should love truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it. And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor's good name. [Lord's Day 43]
It's a very good explanation. We would do well to memorize it. Look at the various components.

DO NOT GIVE FALSE TESTIMONY
The Bible is very clear that when we testify in court we are to tell the truth. We talked about this when we looked at the command to Honor God's name. But it is not just in court that we are to be truthful . . . it is all the time. Lying is bad.
Lying is not part of life in God's Kingdom . . . it is part of life in the Devil's realm. Even in the Garden of Eden when the serpent told Eve that if she ate the fruit, "you will not die", He was lying. In John 8:44 we are told that Satan is the Father of Lies. It is his modus operandi. It is Satan's trademark . . . lies come from and are used by the Devil. And is very good at it.
Why is lying so bad? First, it's bad because when we lie we are dining with the Devil. We are turning away from God and opening our arms to embrace Satan. Make no mistake, every time . . . . every time you and I choose a lie rather than the truth we are following Satan and not the Lord.
Second, lying is bad because it destroys healthy society. You cannot have healthy relationships if you cannot trust people. It is impossible to defend against lies. Truth and truthfulness are the bedrock on which everything else must be built. And this is why truthfulness among our leaders is so essential.
Third, lies are inconsistent with Christianity. Jesus said, "He is the truth". If we do not deal honestly with others we make a mockery of Christ's coming. We push people away rather than draw them to Christ. Too many people say, "I knew some Christians once. They were the most dishonest and manipulative people I know. If that's what it means to be a Christian . . . I want no part of it!"
But there is more to this commandment than a prohibition against telling a lie.

DO NOT DISTORT WHAT OTHERS SAY
We bear false witness when we misrepresent someone. We see this kind of thing in every political campaign. A politician makes a statement in a particular context and it is replayed in a different context to make the man (or woman) appear to be saying something different from what they really meant.
Have you ever had one of these kind of arguments in your home?
"So, what did you think of the meatloaf?"
"It was O.K."
"You didn't like it?"
"I said it was fine."
"That's not exactly a ringing endorsement. I thought you liked meatloaf."
"I do."
"Then what was wrong with my meatloaf?"
"Nothing. It was just different from what I was used to."
"It was my mother's recipe"
"My mom made it a little different and I guess that's what I'm used to."
"So, now your mother is better than my mother????"
It is easy (and dangerous) to read into any conversation just about any kind of "edge" that you want. We can misrepresent or lie about someone when we tell (or know) only one side of the story, or when we only share one dimension of a person's character. The facts can be distorted. It is so important that we work hard at understanding a situation and a person's words. Context is everything.
Let me give you a silly illustration. Suppose you heard the statement, "they were burning up". Now what that phrase meant would depend on the context.
it could mean buildings or belongings were being consumed by fire
it could mean some people were really angry
it could mean a person was running a fever
it could means a person was very warm and uncomfortable in a crowded room
it could mean that somebody was doing very well in a race (as in "burning up the course")
Context is everything. We must take time to understand BEFORE we respond. I find that I am often guilty of answering questions that weren't asked because I start talking before I know what is being asked.

DO NOT GOSSIP OR SLANDER OTHERS
The Bible condemns those who gossip, slander or tell tales. Most of us can recognize gossip . . . if we want to. Anytime we pass on or initiate a rumor, innuendo, or a fact that hasn't been verified . . . we gossip. Anytime we fail to correct faulty information we are party to slander. Anytime we turn the spotlight to focus on another's failure we violate the law of love. People love to gossip! If there was an Olympic event in gossiping, many people we know would have a shot "at the gold".
Don't get me wrong. I find myself perking up when the gossip is flying. I want to know the scoop. I find myself drawn by a magnet to the "dirt" on others. But the question is: "Why?" Why do you and I find gossip so appealing? As I thought about it I came up with several possibilities.
hearing the negative things about others somehow makes us feel better about ourselves. We can look at another and say, "At least I'm not THAT bad."
deep down we want to be God. Like Eve, when she saw a chance to "be like God" she jumped at it. We love being able to sit in judgment and to look down on others. We want to be the standard of truth. We want others to conform to OUR behavior.
we love sin more than we love goodness and truth. The Bible tells us we are to hunger and thirst for righteousness. But we hunger and thirst more for the sordid than we do the good. We are much more concerned with covering our sin than repenting of it.
DO NOT CONDEMN WITHOUT THE FACTS
If we are honest with ourselves we recognize how quick we are to assume the worst about someone.
We conclude that the driver ahead of us got his drivers license over the Internet because they are not driving as we are. What we may come to discover is that they are working hard to be obedient to the law out of reverence for Christ. Or maybe they are trying not to drive beyond their comfort level.
We assume the person who was arrested is actually guilty.
We assume the person who has AIDS was engaging in immoral behavior.
We assume the person late for work is undisciplined and inconsiderate when they may have had a problem on their way to work . . . or they may have been helping someone else.
We assume that troubled children had inattentive parents.
We assume that the person who doesn't do what we expected them to do is insensitive and incompetent. Even though it is just as possible that they did not know what was expected.
Rather than quickly jumping to the worst case scenario, we would be better to consider all the other scenarios that could also be true. Jonathan Edwards calls this the "Judgment of Charity". Edwards points out that when we do things that don't turn out well, we want people to give us the benefit of the doubt. We want them to see that we were trying to do something good. Naturally, if this is what we want others to do for us . . . we should do this for others.

THE POSITIVE BEHAVIOR
Tell the Truth
We are called to be truth tellers. We have already seen that we are to be people who keep our promises. Jesus tells us that "our "yes" should be "yes" and "no" should be "no". Our word should mean something. We should not need a written contract to guarantee that we are going to do what we said we would do. We should be truth tellers in every area of our life.
But the question arises: "What if the truth is going to hurt someone else?" Should we tell someone that the outfit they are wearing is hideous? Or how about the old dilemma often raised: suppose you were a POW and asked to reveal where other soldiers were located? Is it O.K. to lie in these situations? That is a tough question.
There are some simple principles
we have an obligation to tell the truth only to those to whom truth is due. We don't have to tell a thief where valuables are located. We don't have to tell an enemy where our comrades are located.
we don't have to tell the truth in a blunt fashion. There are tactful ways of telling another person the truth. It is just as truthful to say, "I think you look better in the blue dress" as it is to say "you look horrible in the green dress." However, one is much more loving than the other. Remember, we are to "speak the truth in love."
telling the truth is always better in the long run than lying.
Get the Facts
We've already talked about this. Finding out the truth takes work and most of us are usually too lazy to bother with the truth. Consequently we pass on lies and innuendo. God wants us to bother with the facts. Do you remember those great "Hidden Picture" drawings that you find in Highlights for Children? You have to look closely at the drawing in order to see the hidden objects. A quick look and you will miss many things. Finding the truth is like that . . . you must look and then look again. Quick conclusions are very often wrong conclusions.
Focus on the Positive
We have a choice. We can draw attention to a person's faults or their strengths. We can highlight what a person is doing right or we can highlight what they have done which is wrong. If we immediately look for the positive in the situation we will have less problems with gossip and slander than if we spotlight the negative. Someone has suggested that before you pass along information or comments about someone else, ask four questions,
Is it confidential? (If so, never mention it.)
Is it true? (This may take some investigation)
Is it really necessary Information? (So many words are useless.)
Is it kind? (Does it serve a wholesome purpose?)
Extend the Grace to Others We'd Like for Ourselves
I suspect you are similar to me. When you make a big mistake you have one fervent hope . . . that people will give you another chance. You want to prove that you can do better. You yearn to show that you are trustworthy. Since that is the way that you wish to be treated, we should treat others this way.
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone sins. Everyone has failures in their life. We hope and we pray that people will put the spotlight on what we do right and will forgive what we do wrong. And the greatest blessing we can extend to each other is to allow each other to escape our pasts. The truth is, we don't have to remind each other of the mistakes of the past . . . most of us are painfully aware of those things. It is a Christlike person who believes that "if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone. The new has come." (2 Cor. 5:17)

CONCLUSIONS
This morning we have talked about communication and the need to guard our words . . . especially as they relate to others. What I hope you have seen is that it really is a spiritual problem. If we loved the things of God more we would love the things of the world less. Obviously some of this comes from the fact that we surround ourselves with worldly thinking much more than we do godly thinking. We pander in evil much more than we cultivate good. We watch television more than we pray. We read (or watch) news shows more than we read our Bible. We spend more time in recreation than we do in worship. And these things affect our relationship with each other. We find ourselves becoming hard, aggressive, nasty just like the people and things we surround ourselves with.
So how do we change? We've tried fervent resolve, but that hasn't worked. We've tried gimmick and self help programs. They may make us look a little better for awhile but it doesn't change our heart. The only way to be obedient to His prescription is to begin where we always begin . . . at the cross. We come to the cross with our sin and rebellion in our hands and we give it to Jesus who pays for it with His life. Then we place our trust in Him and in His Spirit which He gives us. So we start by working at our relationship with Christ. Jesus is the one who will lead us to where we want to go. He is the one who will teach us what we want to learn. And yes, he will help us to be the people we would like to be . . . and the kind of people others would like us to be as well.

Did you read this? If you did, hope it helped.

Ok, so...take care.
Kisses!